


Assorted Minifics!!

by TonySawicki



Category: Dir en grey
Genre: Drabble Collection, Fluff, M/M, mini-fics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-11-17 14:58:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11277645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TonySawicki/pseuds/TonySawicki
Summary: (Probably ongoing) collection of Dir en grey drabbles that I've deemed too short to get their own separate post!





	1. Kk - Let's not make it a Thing

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to try to keep all of these pretty clearly labeled and organized; if there's something that you think would help make it less annoying you can tell me!
> 
> These are all cross-posted from my tumblr, based on prompts from people over there! First up is Kaoru/Kyo,  
> "I could just use a hug"

Kaoru brought the cigarette to his mouth again as he listened to the playback through his headphones, eyes closed as he tried to hear it as a cohesive unit instead of picking out his own part.

“Can you start it again?” he requested, eyes still closed, brow furrowed in concentration. The segment he’d just been recording restarted and he let out a sigh of frustration, a small billow of smoke coming out with it. He shook his head and put out the cigarette in a nearby ashtray before positioning his hands over his guitar again.

There was a pregnant pause while he seemed like he was about to record another take but then he shook his head again and set his guitar back on its stand. He left his headphones on the chair he’d been using, muttered something about needing a break, and went out into the hall. 

He’d been working on this one segment most of the day, and felt more inadequate than he had in years; he wasn’t sure exactly what wasn’t clicking for him. It wasn’t the notes, wasn’t the playing itself that was escaping him—rather there seemed to be an almost emotional disconnect. He paced the hall, trying to shake whatever was clogging him creatively out of his limbs, and wasn’t paying much attention to where he was walking when he nearly mowed right over Kyo, who managed to stumble a few steps back just in time to avoid the collision.

“God, Kyo, sorry, I’m not looking where I’m going,” Kaoru said. “Kind of distracted.”

“Doin’ all right there, Kaoru?” Kyo asked, one eyebrow raised. “You’ve been in there for hours. Still recording?”

Kaoru nodded, leaned against the wall. “It’s not coming together for me.”

“What’s the issue?” Kyo said. He shifted into a reasonable business mode easily, asking, “Do we need to re-record something? If it’s not working, we can always change it until it’s where you want it to be. Or is it Die? It’s probably something Die did, _he_ should be the one to re-record his part—”

Kaoru laughed, and he could tell by Kyo’s slightly smug expression that that had been the intended effect. “It’s not Die, and I don’t think we need to change anything. My brain is just all messed up so I’m not playing right.”

“Then how can I help with that? Have you been getting enough rest?” Kyo asked. He leaned a hip against the wall next to Kaoru. “I know you haven’t. This doesn’t need to get done now, you know. You could take some time for yourself and no one would hold it against you.” He tilted his head to look up at Kaoru, his face all soft lines and wordless offering. “What can I do?”

“Honestly?” Kaoru said. “I think I could just use a hug.”

Kyo frowned at that and straightened up. To Kaoru’s surprise, Kyo proceeded to hold out his arms, gesturing Kaoru towards him. When he stepped forward, Kyo closed his arms around him in what was possibly the most awkward hug in which he’d ever participated, holding him for almost a full minute before patting him twice on the back and moving away, his cheeks tinged pink.

“Did that help?” Kyo said, shrugging one shoulder.

“I think it did, actually,” Kaoru said with a snort.

“Good. Well, let’s not make it a _thing_ ,” Kyo said. He took a few steps backwards and cleared his throat. “I’ll let you get back to work.” He nodded to Kaoru once more and then turned back in the direction whence he’d come.

Kaoru couldn’t help but grin as he headed back to finish recording. It may not have been a typical hug, but coming from Kyo it meant a lot more, and he was sure whatever emotional connection was lacking before would be easy to find now.


	2. Kk - Irrelevant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaoru/Kyo "Things you said with too many miles between us"

The sun was just coming up, but Kaoru had been in and out of sleep for the past several hours, his mind stuck on something. Normally when he couldn’t sleep he’d just get up and try to work, channel his overactive mental state into something creatively productive, but this time he’d just been letting himself drown in thoughts. All week he’d felt _off_ , like something wasn’t balanced in him. The fact was he was lonely, but more than that, he was missing someone specific, and he knew perfectly well that it was Kyo.

Currently sukekiyo was on tour in Europe, and every day that Kyo was away, Kaoru felt like some part of him _self_ was stretched too far to reach. He knew he had no claim to Kyo; they were bandmates, colleagues, friends under only the best of circumstances. But sometimes he felt like all he needed to remind him why he was alive was to hear Kyo’s voice. It was pathetic in a way, but while Kyo’s venture into his other project made Kaoru proud, it also weighed down his heart, made him feel left behind, made him realize just how much he wanted Kyo to know—well, Kaoru wasn’t sure what.

He grabbed his phone off the nightstand and swiped it open, frowning. He had his LINE messenger open and was staring down at his conversation with Kyo (untouched in the past couple weeks) before he realized he had nothing to say to him. He had no _excuse_ to text Kyo while he was in some foreign country, working, living his life. There were no setlists he needed Kyo to approve, no lyrics he needed to confirm; anything he could say seemed totally irrelevant. 

Kaoru sighed at the thought. _Irrelevant_. That was exactly the feeling he had whenever he thought about his relationship to Kyo these days. Not that Kyo had ever _needed_ Kaoru, he knew, but now, when all Kaoru could think about was how much he missed him, how he needed to tell him how he felt, Kyo couldn’t care less. Kaoru’s feelings didn’t matter at all, and any imagining he had that they should was merely delusion.

He checked the time. Accounting for the time difference he reasoned Kyo should be finished and back at the hotel after his night’s performance, so he bit the bullet and sent as casual a message as he could muster: “ _How was the live tonight?_ ”

He didn’t expect Kyo to respond right away, but only a moment later he saw the ellipses that meant Kyo was typing something and his heart seemed to be holding its own breath.

“ _It felt good. Powerful energy from the audience._ ”

Kaoru half-smiled at that. It was typical for Kyo to shift praise onto the nearest possible party, and he knew that, while Kyo enjoyed performing more than just about anything, he was loath to admit that a successful concert was because of his own talent. He hesitated before sending the next message, as honest as he wanted to be, “ _I wish I could have been there._ ”

There was very little pause before Kyo’s message came, “ _I wish you were here, too_.”

Kaoru blinked at his phone, an unwelcome little flare of hope shooting up inside him. He rolled onto his stomach and tried to think of how to react, but before he could, Kyo’s ellipses were there again.

“ _You know how I feel when I’m abroad—so disoriented and out of place. I always feel better with you beside me._ ”

That wasn’t something Kaoru ever expected to hear from Kyo. He supposed his post-live exhaustion must have been influencing some of the usual barriers he built up around himself. Carefully, Kaoru typed back his own message, “ _The same goes for me._ ”

“ _Much as I love doing these sukekiyo shows, I’ll be glad to be back in Japan. Didn’t think I’d ever be saying it, but I miss you, Kao._ ”

“ _Miss you, too. But you should probably go to bed. I’ll see you soon._ ” Kaoru sent the message with his stomach twisted up in knots.

Kyo wrote back quickly, “ _What the fuck are you doing up anyway? You work too much._ ”

Another message followed right after: “ _Night. Let’s talk more when I get back_.”

Kaoru let out a long breath and then lay down with his face buried in the pillows. Kyo missed him, too. He wanted to “talk” when he was back in Japan. For once, with a small smile he couldn’t quite suppress, Kaoru thought he might not be as irrelevant as he felt.


	3. Kaoru/Shinya - Mutter Louder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaoru/Shinya - "Things you said too quietly"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this one's like *really* short, geez

“What was that?”

Shinya’s eyes went wide as Kaoru spoke to him. “What?”

“No, I just didn’t hear what you said,” Kaoru said.

Now what Shinya had actually said was an under-his-breath suggestion of what else Kaoru could _nail_ once they were done nailing the last few bars of the song they were rehearsing—but he hadn’t meant for Kaoru to actually hear it, of course. He was surprised to be called out on saying it even as loud as he apparently had. “Nothing, forget it,” Shinya said, willing himself not to go as red as he was sure he was.

Kyo was looking in his direction, smirking. He was probably the only other person who knew exactly what Shinya had been muttering. He’d been in on Shinya’s interest in their band leader basically since Shinya himself had acknowledged the feelings, and the face he was making now said he was impatient for Shinya to fess up.

Shinya shot him a dirty but meaningful look in return and they both focused their attention back on the song they were running through.

He would tell Kaoru how he felt, sooner or later. (Probably later.) At any rate, not at this moment, in front of the whole band.

Or maybe he could save himself the trouble of an actual confrontation and just mutter a little bit louder next time…


	4. Die/Shinya - Maybe You're Too Drunk to Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Die/Shinya - "Things you said when you were drunk"

"Obviously out of everyone in the band, I’d have to choose Die.”

Die nearly spit out his drink while Toshiya, across the table, was just laughing uproariously.

“Like, sure, we can talk for hours about Kyo’s butt, but in the end, I think Die’s the only one of you that I would _actually_ sleep with,” Shinya went on before lifting his glass again, “And enjoy it.”

Die gaped at him for a few seconds. “Shinya, you know I’m sitting _right here_ , right?”

Shinya glanced at him and shrugged. “Maybe you’re so drunk you won’t remember this conversation tomorrow.”

“Maybe—maybe _I’m_ so drunk—? Shin, how many have you had??” Die sputtered. He ran a hand through his hair nervously. Did Shinya really think of him that way or was he just so far gone he didn’t know what he was saying?

“Enough to do something I’ll probably regret,” Shinya admitted, leaning in towards Die.

“ _This is amazing_ ,” Toshiya whispered. He was fidgeting with his phone in his hands and Die could tell he was practically in physical pain from the restraint he was using to not capture this moment.

Ever so gently Die put a hand on Shinya’s shoulder and pushed him back. “In hopes of _not_ being something you regret, how about we table this discussion till you’re thinking a bit more clearly?” he said. “Not saying I’m not interested, but… you’re wasted.”

Shinya looked like he wanted to argue, but a small hiccup came out instead, and he covered his mouth with his hand.

“That’s what I thought. I think you’ve had enough for one night,” Die said, shaking his head. “But don’t think I won’t be bringing this back up to a sober Shinya.”

“Please tell me I’m going to be there for that conversation, too,” Toshiya said.

Die laughed and shook his head again. He was reasonably sure he’d want to have that conversation with Shinya in private.


	5. Kk - Aliens aren't interested in you (but I am?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaoru/Kyo - "Things you said under the stars and in the grass"

“It does feel different out here.”

Kaoru looked over at Kyo and saw him tucking his electronic cigarette back into his coat pocket, face turned towards the night sky. It was the first time he’d spoken since they’d started walking, and his voice was so soft Kaoru thought for a moment he’d imagined it.

He’d been surprised enough that Kyo had invited himself along when Kaoru had first said he wanted to take their free night between tour shows to go view fireflies. Kyo had offered up the reason that he wanted to photograph them, but the silence he’d kept as they made their trek out from the main road had made Kaoru think Kyo was angry, which only confused him more. Why had he come along at all if he was just going to be pissed the whole time? 

“Yeah?” Kaoru said, still watching Kyo from the corner of his eye.

“It’s so quiet.” Kyo pushed some tall grass aside as he wove through it, though his eyes were still directed up above him. “Feels like aliens could swoop down and pick us up at any second.”

Kaoru snorted. He should have expected that to be where Kyo’s mind was. “I doubt aliens would have any interest in you,” he said.

“Meaning what exactly?” Kyo asked, looking back at Kaoru with an eyebrow arched.

“Just if they’re interested in studying _humans_ , they’d probably go for someone who hadn’t dropped out of space himself,” Kaoru said smoothly. He walked past Kyo, following the directions he’d saved on his phone towards the stream where he knew the majority of the fireflies tended to gather.

Kyo scoffed behind him. “Calling me an alien? Not impressed by that level of wit, Kaoru.”

“Wasn’t meant to be witty, just stating some facts,” Kaoru said, glancing back over his shoulder. This was the wrong instant to do so, as just then his foot caught on the edge of a hole presumably belonging to some burrowing rodent, and he went stumbling to the ground.

Naturally, Kyo tripped over him and, with a series of curses, landed in the grass, sprawled nearly on top of Kaoru. Pushing himself up on his elbows, he glared in Kaoru’s direction. “Ass.”

Kaoru got himself sitting up and was about to make some retort, when his breath hitched at the sight of the stars above them. It was nothing like Tokyo; here the stars were legitimately countless. They seemed to swirl out indefinitely but so varied, thicker in some places, brighter here and there. The sky had never seemed so much like liquid as it did now, every star floating suspended in it.

There was the sound of Kyo shifting around beside him and then the _click_ of his camera, and Kaoru looked over in surprise to see the device aimed at him.

“You’re lucky it didn’t break when I fell, or you’d be paying to replace it,” Kyo said as he lowered the camera. He relaxed back down in the grass with a sigh.

“Fair enough,” Kaoru said. He pursed his lips and then lay on his back next to Kyo, his head pillowed on his hands. He did want to see the fireflies, but in a way he was fine with this, too. He could be perfectly content lying on the ground in the middle of nowhere, with Kyo by his side. He kept staring at the sky in order to keep himself from turning to stare at Kyo, something that was far too easy.

Neither of them said anything for a long time, and Kaoru was wondering if they really were going to get up and finish their journey or not when the grass rustled next to him.

“So much quieter out here,” Kyo said again.

Kaoru chanced a look over at him and almost gasped at the way Kyo’s dark eyes seemed to reflect every star above them, before he blinked and those eyes were turned on Kaoru.

“There’s a kind of safety in it,” Kyo said, his voice somehow the exact pitch of the wind whipping through the grass around them. He stayed looking at Kaoru for a long moment before tentatively scooting closer to him, and carefully adjusting to lay his head on Kaoru’s chest, one arm wrapping around Kaoru’s middle.

It was quiet out here, so _tangibly_ quiet, and Kaoru was sure his pounding heart was the loudest sound in the surrounding area, was sure Kyo would hear everything, _know_ everything, would push away from him with that uncomfortable expression he’d seen on his face so many times over the years—but he only pulled him closer, seemed to relax further. Kaoru brought one hand from behind his head to rest on Kyo’s shoulder. He closed his eyes as he listened to Kyo’s breathing, to the gradually steadying rhythm of his own heart, to the barely-there whispers of the countryside around them. Kyo was right that there was safety in this kind of isolation, and it pained him that he understood that this was only something they could have in a place like this, one that existed almost outside reality.

Opening his eyes to the heavens above, Kaoru set his jaw in determination; he would have to find a way to bring this _quiet_ back with them to their regular lives. It felt too right to leave behind in the grass.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, ps this isn't the Kaoru fic I said was coming; I haven't really had a chance to work on that much so I thought I'd put this stuff up in the meantime~


End file.
